Full disclosure: I tried to get someone else to write this week’s blog. But not a single one of my dogs was up to the challenge. And my cats? Forget about it.

Doesn’t matter that I feed them and groom them and take them for walks right in the middle of doing something else. Ask them to do one little thing and it’s all, “Ohh, I’m just an animal,” or, “It’s not my fault I don’t have opposable thumbs.”

Whatever.

Here’s a little-known fact. When writers don’t know what to write about, they write about writing. Now, this is a confusing statistic to confirm because sometimes writers write about writing because it’s writing that they want to write about.

Are you with me, or did that just make you dizzy?

Deep breaths. Head between your knees. Try not to think about Dancing with the Stars.

Better now? Good. Where were we?

I’m gonna write about writing today because I had this awesome plan. I made a list of emergency topics that I could write about when I got stuck for a topic—like today. And let me tell you that some of them were awesome topics.

I just wish I could remember them.

I do know that some of them were about writing. Because I want to be one of those writers who writes about writing on purpose, rather than the writers who write about writing because they ran out of other things to write about. And if you can’t write about writing, what can you write about?

Dang. Sorry. Didn’t mean to start that back up again.

In, out. In, out. Go take a ballroom dancing class. why doncha?

Hope you didn’t eat anything too greasy before you started reading this.

Anyway, I put my emergency topics list in a safe place so I wouldn’t accidentally throw it away or use it to light a fire in the fireplace or something. You know the drill. I put it someplace safe. Unfortunately, I’ve also succeeded in keeping it safe from me—not a clue where I hid it. But I’m pretty sure it’s right next to that winning lottery ticket I never did find and the Ark of the Covenant.

Suffice it to say that none of those things is doing me any good right now.

So, without further ado—whatever ado is—let’s talk about writing.

My very favorite part about being a writer is … hang on, someone’s here … it’s my pizza. Gotta go.

More on writing next week.